Packing my bags...

Inshallah Eid is round the corner, well just one day away. Today will be the last fast on this Ramadan. Who knows if we will be alive for the next Ramadan to enjoy this blessed month. This is my first Eid ul Fitr in London after a long time, maybe 3 years or more. So it is a great feeling to be celebrating with my family in the comfort of my own home. I missed such an atmosphere and now I can enjoy it.

Soon I will be leaving London in a few day to go back to Peshawar and start my classes once again. The routine of staying up until 3am will be over and I will miss that as I have become used to it. Soon I will be sleeping 10-11pm and getting up 7am. So no more 12 hour sleeping for me, which is a shame. But at the same time it is gonna be more fun to be busy again and having some challenges, which I didn't have during the holidays. Rather it was just me being lazy and doing nothing productive. So that will be a good change for me. I have been packing my bags with the help of my mum obviously, with most of the stuff in my suitcase being snacks and food items. It might seem strange but the stuff I have packed looks like I am going to be opening a shop in Peshawar, it will be funny to imagine what the people would think when they open it up to check it or see it through the x-ray machines. Its full of cornflakes, crisps, mocha, sweets, jam, cheese, chocolates and some clothes.



It is always a struggle to get my suitcase to be within the allowed limits of 30kg. Before in the past most of the my luggage consisted of stuff for my relatives and things I was requested by relatives to bring for them. So I would always be in a state of worry to get stuff I wanted in my bag and yet trying to not upset relatives by taking their stuff as well. Thankfully this time I haven't been needed to take much things, so most of the things are mine. But still with 30kg allowed there is always many things I have to decide to leave behind and not take.

Thankfully this time Peshawar airport is open and last time I remember this was another burden on me when I found out Peshawar airport was closed and planes would be diverted to Islamabad. Islamabad is a 2-3 hours drive from Peshawar and asking somebody to pick you up from there is a hassle for them. Also it is a hassle for me as when you get off the plane you wish to just get off the plane and into a house where you can just relax.

One thing I have started to dislike about travel, is the jet-lag. I have been travelling many times during my 4 years of being in Peshawar studying medicine. People would think I would have become used to travelling, but it is really different when you travel by yourself. I remember as a kid travelling with parents, I had no worries whatsoever and would just look forward to the plane taking off and landing. The whole experience I found exciting, but when you travel by yourself you have to look after every single thing and have many things to think about. Unlike before where my parents would take care of everything. The jet-lag is really bad going from London to Peshawar as you lose one day of sleep. It is not so bad the other way round because you are going back in time rather forward into time (I am talking about the time zone, as Pakistan is 4 hours ahead of London).

As soon as I reach Peshawar Inshallah, that is the day when our uni will be open. There is a lot of renovation going on as the lecture halls and many buildings were really ancient. It looked like we were still in the 50's, so its great news that they have finally thought about renovating the place.

One more thing I wanna mention is the things that I will miss. I will definately miss my family as they are a great support for you. They make life easier for you and if you feel down they can be the ones to bring you up and help you get out of many troubles. So leaving them behind will be a big loss. But somehow you learn to cope without them even though you still would be better off if they were around. I would definately miss the luxury of our own home, my own bedroom and my own privacy. I would miss the culture of London where everybody keeps to themselves and do not bother people much. Where life is not so chaotic even though it is busy. Where there is order and no worries about bomb blasts or security issues. Where you feel secure in your home and no problem of the electricity going out (loadshedding). So many things to miss and Peshawar will be a place of chaos as soon as you land and sensing some kind of trouble in the air. You know you definately have landed in Peshawar....

Rituals vs Worship

Only a few days left till Ramadan will be over. We prayed, we fasted, we read Quran and performed optional prayers and gave charity. Mashallah! But then what?? I've heard a term before being used by some people, they call it 'RAMADAN MUSLIMS'. We are muslims in one month out of 12. But then we go downhill in the rest of the months. We are not ready to challenge the shaytan and continue to uphold the good stuff we achieved in Ramadan. Do we really want to be of those who are just Ramadan muslims??

Now this brings me onto a point which is kinda related to this. It is the aspect of rituals.
Rituals are defined as a customary practice or actions performed for their symbolic value. You can see fasting as such a thing. We perform this act of fasting in Ramadan. But do you not think we should be fasting not as a ritual but as an act of worship. Do you understand the difference between the two?? Ritual is something customary whereas worship is an act of devotion towards a God or anything else. In Islam worship is act of devotion for the sake of Allah (the creator).

Do you realise the difference between the two now? Isn't devotion something more deeper than a customary act. An act which is just repeated for the sake of it. Just like maybe it becomes a habit to brush your teeth everyday or to put your watch on your left hand. It is an act that you just do without much devotion. It just becomes a habit, automatically you just do it. It doesn't involve much feelings or passion.

But worship is far more greater than rituals. If you do an act of worship it involves feelings, devotion, passion and many more things. It comes from the heart and it changes your life. But I see people fasting just for the sake of it. I see people praying just for the sake of it. It has become a ritual with many people. They have removed the devotion aspect from their acts and that is the core reason why we would see mosques full but we see no feeling of goodness from our muslim community. We see no return? Why??? Because prayer is meant to be worship rather than ritual. Because Fasting is meant to be worship rather than ritual. Not only that but we have so many things apart from fasting and prayer that are considered acts of worship. Even smiling or removing harm from the way of a person can be considered worship. It is a really deep act full of emotions, done for the sake of Allah to improve your character and dealings with humans, animals and the earth around us. But unfortunately we have forgotten this and we do acts of worship without devotion, which turn it into a ritual. This is why such rituals never change the heart of our people, it wont turn them into citizens who will be of service to their community and it definately doesn't help them to stop doing acts which are disgraceful or bad to the community.

If we all were to do our acts of worship with full devotion, real meaning and purpose. It would mean that we will definately find it harder to do wrong acts and find it more easier to do good acts. I hear this question many times, people say our mosques are full. Isn't that a good indication of how good the people are?? But then you see that at the same time that community has so many ills while they mosques are full. That would mean praying doesn't change people and rather it makes them do wrong acts. But no this is because of the individual who is praying, is it from the heart? Is it with a purpose or is it just a ritual he has to do? To just get it out of the way?? I think it is the latter most definately. Let us think deeply about the actions which we do and do we do it truly for the sake of Allah or do we just do it because we feel it is a burden and we have to do it??